..been a while again n today is already a day after Xmas..n bout 4 to 5 more days to a new year and frankly 2010 is the worse year i had to go true and at the same time the best year i ever had to go through...ironic when both good and bad came at the same time but that's what life is all about folks...you can get all that you wanted and you can't avoid any bad things that has been destined for you...
life will still go on no matter how good or bad it is or was but have you ever asked yourself which direction do you really wanna go or which destination should you arrive when the current moments doesn't promise or gives you any clue on whats going to happen to your life?....
i have spoken bout many thing,politics, life,relationships, love,hatred and many more tll i don't really remember what i said before but still at the very end of this year the issues or the topics that kept repeating in my mind is still about relationships...
i am gonna be ...hmmm 40 next year but still as of today i cant really comprehend what relationship is all about cause every relationship that i got myself into keeps becoming something that i can predict...love at first sight,being involve,being used and taken for granted and will most definitely end up being hurt again..so i presume but is there still any kind of relationship in this world which is worth dying or fighting for?
have you ever thought of the kind of relationship that you are into at the current moment?like have you ever asked yourself will this be for the rest of your life or will this be just another phase where you will be hurt again n will have to start all over again with another one?..honestly i don't know any answer to that question..honestly i don't know!!
most of us will do anything to be in a relationship or to maintain and make that relationship works and most of the time we will do whatever it takes to please the one you love..no matter what AND i realized THIS is where the problem is!!..Trying to please others till you forget or ignored the needs of your own..the things that you want..just for the sake of pleasing the one that you though you love or the one that you thought loves you for who you are....
sometimes all that we need is just a bit of understanding from the one you loved..understanding on what your needs are..what you really want...BUT most of the time..you are there for the convenience of the one you loved and not for your sake..always like that if i m not mistaken...
when you realized that you are the only one that tries to make it work that is the time when you are supposed to actually consider either to move on or to just stay and be NOT yourself and be accepted as a convenience to someone...
LOVE is a very exclusive or could be a very elusive thing...to me the definition of being in LOVE is when you give all that you have or your life to the extend but why do most of the time only 1 party giveth its all but the one on the other side doesn't give it back to you as what you are giving..i understand that when you love someone its not supposed to aspect the same treatment that you are giving cause i understand that all of us..each individual are different in their own way but the least i guess anyone could show is some appreciation...
most of the time i see a relationship that is doomed to fail is when either parties care for others more than they should, dress up when they are in the companies of others, are more concern for the ones that are not with them BUT ignored ,took for granted and assume that the ones that is right besides them every night will always be there for them....it doesn't work that way..all those above should occur but sooner or later those things will come back to haunt the relationship and like i said..either party will get hurt if not both!!..
humans always forgets this and the only time they will regret or remember or try to look back is when the one that truly loves them is not there anymore..but this happens million of times all over the world and it keeps happening everyday...
..they kept looking for options everywhere else that they thought cud give them what they want but they fail to realized or to work on the current relationship that they are in..for the reason only they themselves know..or perhaps they knew but just plain ignored....
i write cause i m quite sick of all these happening everywhere...if you love someone..act accordingly..be truthful n don't ever take things for granted cause you may think that you may get away with this today but one day you will just end up being recycled from one person to another....
if you love that someone...say that you love her..or show how much you care for her..just by calling her 'sayang' everyday doesn't justify the things that you do for each other especially when you call the one you love 'sayang' but in your heart you are still hoping for the past to be here with you...
be fair to yourself peeps..n be fair to others as well....all that we do or our action will definitely generates an equal reaction...
so, love truly..with sincerity,honesty and not to be in a relationship just cause you are afraid to be alone...its not worth it.....:)
well..here i am again talking bout things that doesn't make any point but well..like they said..its my blog..so be it!..
last but not least...happy new year to all of you and may your relationship that you are in now or in the future be the ones that is heaven made and not out of necessities due to your own lust and greed...cheerios...:)
love
lordmusan
keepin' my sanity alive...
I AM A NON-SMOKER ! VAPE ON!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Merdeka?
..Malaysia celebrating Independence Day today...31st August, 2010..for the 53rd time..'Merdeka Day' or Independence Day...same thing..and i guess i will not be the only soul on earth to write bout this day..actually this has got nothing to do with the celebration or the auspicious day itself but what i want to talk bout here is the actual definition of 'Merdeka' or Independence according to myself or to some of us or what is the actual meaning or definition?
Everyone in this country, in fact every soul in this world knows what Independence is all about, i mean the word Independence or Merdeka to us...when i was a kid Merdeka means holiday,school off, time to go see the parade or at least time with my mum for the movies or what not..or the least time to be at home spent wit the family and as usual the afternoon out with my childhood friends go 'lepak' at the padang or kedai and shout the word 'MERDEKA!'..at least three times...as i grew older nothing change accept that instead of spending time with my family i chose to spend time with my hmmm..so called girlfriend, 'awek','marka' or whatever u call it at that time...from Ipoh travel to KL with a group of friends in the name of celebrating Merdeka Day at Dataran Merdeka,with all the traffic jams and what not but still the spirit of celebrating Merdeka Day but end up either in 11LA or Phase 2(..to the older folks, i'm sure you guys knew where this places are and type of 'things' happening here,to the younger generations,,11LA what?..anyhow..still shouting 'Merdeka!Merdeka!Merdeka!'..nothing changed, only the type of environment and the way i celebrated this auspicious day. Don't tell me you've never done this or at least something like i did..i'm sure if not all,some of you did.
After being married and what not, Merdeka Day celebration became a different entity altogether and when your kids asked you what is Merdeka Day and why are we supposed to celebrate this day,it became, all of a sudden a very patriotic kinda day where you explained Merdeka just like in the history books.Why?because you wanted your next of kin or your children to understand and really appreciate what Merdeka means.Just like what my mother told me long ago but as usual,i ignored and at that time,it doesnt make sense.Not that i m more patriotic now compared to the old days but i guess when you come of age it is just looks different, and the definiton is slightly different from what you see all this while.
Well folks, when we celebrate Merdeka this year after 53 years of it.What have you actually done for the country?Have you ever asked yourself?i did and till this moment i am still trying to figure out what are my actual contributions to my beloved country.Sadly,i have not contributed anything other than income tax(if this pass as a contribution to the country but in other areas,zip,nada,none whatsoever!)
We have come a long way to be what we are today.Are we satisfied or do we really show progress?I am talking bout the race-the Malay race in particular.What i see is still a race full of complacency,hatred,envious of anything that makes more money than them especially if the thng that moves is a Malay and still at the same level eventhough there are some achievement from some of us but as a whole,we are still not 'Merdeka' from ourselves.Want to call it a DILEMMA?.yup..a dilemma indeed,a dilemma which was brought upon us by ourselves.Oopps..i guess i m not gonna talk bout this anymore.'You Know Who' will be pissed and will say that i have no idea of what is going on with my own race.So be it.
If we are really 'Merdeka' in its true sense,why are there still unborn or even born babies being dumped out in the open and now its like a daily occurrence.Is this what we really want?Where did we go wrong?Are these the fruits of independence?Are the teachers not teaching the younger kids wahts right and what is not?Have our education system failed?Baby dumping is just the tip of the iceberg.Many more things we see today that we can never be proud of.Mat Rempit or as the call it now Samseng Jalanan(..as if this makes a difference),Snatch Theft,Rapes,Murders,Incest,Punks,Skinheads and what nots.These are not the type of Merdeka that i personally want to have a be a part of.
Merdeka is not only for the old folks or at least for the folks above 40 but it should be for all but what and how do we really achieve Merdeka,either to ourselves,the country, our thinking and even the way we think of others.What is Merdeka?Some of us called ourselves liberal thinking people and we should not be bothered bout this but since this is my blog and i m writing it so,what the heck...like they say nowadays...ada aku kesah?
i felt like i m not making sense with what i wrote above but i just felt like i need to write something bout all this.So many things on my mind right now...and i cant seems to put it in the right sequence but this is what i felt like writing.
Once again..i think Merdeka means..free from being a 'wannabe',free from financial strains,free from being under the influence of anyone,free to think and say what you wanna say,free from being used and step on always,free for making decisions and controlling the path that you want to take and free from doubts and suspicion on whatever or whomever you're with and most of all FREE to always knwo and learn the actual reason or purpose why you are here in the first place...that's Merdeka to me for now..lots more free of a lot of things but i guess enough for now...
so peeps, no matter where you are,who you are,what you are or who you are gonna be..Merdekakan yourselves from the things that is holding you back in achieving your dreams and goals..from being used by anyone for their own benefits..and always have a mind which is always "Merdeka!..NEVER let yourselves be used or influenced by anyone against what you really wanna do..easier said than done,eh?
Merdekakan diri anda dari dijajah secara tidak langsung dan Merdekakan diri anda dari diri anda sendiri sebelum anda cuba hendak merdekakan diri anda dari aspek lain...
last but not least folks...Selamat Meyambut Hari Merdeka ke 53...Semoga Kemerdekaan yang kita kecapi akan terus bermakna dan tidak hanya sekadar perarakan di Dataran Merdeka dan laungan MERDEKA di kelab-kelab malam...
salam n sayang always...
lordmusan
Everyone in this country, in fact every soul in this world knows what Independence is all about, i mean the word Independence or Merdeka to us...when i was a kid Merdeka means holiday,school off, time to go see the parade or at least time with my mum for the movies or what not..or the least time to be at home spent wit the family and as usual the afternoon out with my childhood friends go 'lepak' at the padang or kedai and shout the word 'MERDEKA!'..at least three times...as i grew older nothing change accept that instead of spending time with my family i chose to spend time with my hmmm..so called girlfriend, 'awek','marka' or whatever u call it at that time...from Ipoh travel to KL with a group of friends in the name of celebrating Merdeka Day at Dataran Merdeka,with all the traffic jams and what not but still the spirit of celebrating Merdeka Day but end up either in 11LA or Phase 2(..to the older folks, i'm sure you guys knew where this places are and type of 'things' happening here,to the younger generations,,11LA what?..anyhow..still shouting 'Merdeka!Merdeka!Merdeka!'..nothing changed, only the type of environment and the way i celebrated this auspicious day. Don't tell me you've never done this or at least something like i did..i'm sure if not all,some of you did.
After being married and what not, Merdeka Day celebration became a different entity altogether and when your kids asked you what is Merdeka Day and why are we supposed to celebrate this day,it became, all of a sudden a very patriotic kinda day where you explained Merdeka just like in the history books.Why?because you wanted your next of kin or your children to understand and really appreciate what Merdeka means.Just like what my mother told me long ago but as usual,i ignored and at that time,it doesnt make sense.Not that i m more patriotic now compared to the old days but i guess when you come of age it is just looks different, and the definiton is slightly different from what you see all this while.
Well folks, when we celebrate Merdeka this year after 53 years of it.What have you actually done for the country?Have you ever asked yourself?i did and till this moment i am still trying to figure out what are my actual contributions to my beloved country.Sadly,i have not contributed anything other than income tax(if this pass as a contribution to the country but in other areas,zip,nada,none whatsoever!)
We have come a long way to be what we are today.Are we satisfied or do we really show progress?I am talking bout the race-the Malay race in particular.What i see is still a race full of complacency,hatred,envious of anything that makes more money than them especially if the thng that moves is a Malay and still at the same level eventhough there are some achievement from some of us but as a whole,we are still not 'Merdeka' from ourselves.Want to call it a DILEMMA?.yup..a dilemma indeed,a dilemma which was brought upon us by ourselves.Oopps..i guess i m not gonna talk bout this anymore.'You Know Who' will be pissed and will say that i have no idea of what is going on with my own race.So be it.
If we are really 'Merdeka' in its true sense,why are there still unborn or even born babies being dumped out in the open and now its like a daily occurrence.Is this what we really want?Where did we go wrong?Are these the fruits of independence?Are the teachers not teaching the younger kids wahts right and what is not?Have our education system failed?Baby dumping is just the tip of the iceberg.Many more things we see today that we can never be proud of.Mat Rempit or as the call it now Samseng Jalanan(..as if this makes a difference),Snatch Theft,Rapes,Murders,Incest,Punks,Skinheads and what nots.These are not the type of Merdeka that i personally want to have a be a part of.
Merdeka is not only for the old folks or at least for the folks above 40 but it should be for all but what and how do we really achieve Merdeka,either to ourselves,the country, our thinking and even the way we think of others.What is Merdeka?Some of us called ourselves liberal thinking people and we should not be bothered bout this but since this is my blog and i m writing it so,what the heck...like they say nowadays...ada aku kesah?
i felt like i m not making sense with what i wrote above but i just felt like i need to write something bout all this.So many things on my mind right now...and i cant seems to put it in the right sequence but this is what i felt like writing.
Once again..i think Merdeka means..free from being a 'wannabe',free from financial strains,free from being under the influence of anyone,free to think and say what you wanna say,free from being used and step on always,free for making decisions and controlling the path that you want to take and free from doubts and suspicion on whatever or whomever you're with and most of all FREE to always knwo and learn the actual reason or purpose why you are here in the first place...that's Merdeka to me for now..lots more free of a lot of things but i guess enough for now...
so peeps, no matter where you are,who you are,what you are or who you are gonna be..Merdekakan yourselves from the things that is holding you back in achieving your dreams and goals..from being used by anyone for their own benefits..and always have a mind which is always "Merdeka!..NEVER let yourselves be used or influenced by anyone against what you really wanna do..easier said than done,eh?
Merdekakan diri anda dari dijajah secara tidak langsung dan Merdekakan diri anda dari diri anda sendiri sebelum anda cuba hendak merdekakan diri anda dari aspek lain...
last but not least folks...Selamat Meyambut Hari Merdeka ke 53...Semoga Kemerdekaan yang kita kecapi akan terus bermakna dan tidak hanya sekadar perarakan di Dataran Merdeka dan laungan MERDEKA di kelab-kelab malam...
salam n sayang always...
lordmusan
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
...life doesn't starts at 40..:)
Young Man!Life Begins at 40.....been hearing it so many times that a man's life begins at 40..or at least near to 40 or a bit after 40 but does it really starts at that age?...i don't know but i think it actually started rite from the day u were born.From one phase or stage to the other.Being dependent on your mummy and daddy for everything, starting school at a very early age, getting to know what friends are,getting what you wanted just by crying or throwing a tantrum and then, came about. high school and you learned what love or relationship is all about..or more so 'puppy love' but you definitely get the idea what getting involved with the opposite sex or being in a relationship is all about..or to be exact what crushes are and what heartbreak is all about.
Sometimes, without us realizing, the things or the experience that we had during our schooldays pretty much defines the preference or the things we do when you are a so called adult.Adult meaning after college,working life, responsibilities,commitments and what not. We still wanted to have a relationship or someone whom is good looking, caring,sweet and a person that truly cares bout who we are.Just the same thing as when we are in school with those 'puppy love'. Even when you are already an adult you still longed for the same things, don't we not?Its just a difference in the age or the phase that we went or that we are going through.
i am not an expert in realtionships or waht nots but at this age and after so many relationships and involvements either bad or good,i guess pretty much i know what relationship is all about.Or do i?
Being in love or being involved is sometimes being defined as two separate things as to what i see. Being in love is when you don't care bout anything else and the only thing that matters the most is the one you loved, spending all your time with her or him and everything else is just pure nonsense, even sometimes families are not in the picture when you are in love with a lovable person.I said lovable coz not every human being are lovable but everybody deserves to be loved. When you are in L O V E...everything else just doesnt matter....its only YOU and HER or HIM...!
And then comes I N V O L V E M E N T...yup!..it is another term for being in love and in a relationship but this time it involves everything and the best thing is or perhaps the scariest of all is this is REALITY...you are in love or with a beautiful person, yes you are but these phase came right after the fantsy of being involved slowly phases out..and reality seeps in.A lot of us wont get past this phase,either they are still living in their fantasies and hope that the fantasies will forever go on or they just can't find any other reason to carry on or just that reality is sometimes too ugly to face, no pun intended!...
Well peeps,a relationship, whether you like it or not combines both.Love as well as involvement.There's no such thing as just being in love but not involved and theres just no such thing as being involved but theres no love..unless some other reasons are prominent LAH! i dont know bout you but it takes a lot to make a relationship works.You need good looks (even if they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder), charm,flair,honesty,sincerity,loyalty and of course willing hearts that are not forced to be there.
Always when you thought that you already knew what you really wanted, came another another reason to show you that you are sometimes totally wrong in whatever believes you had about love all this while.It happens you know..no matter how experience or well exposed you are to what they called relationship. Its always a totally new thing or experience..EVERYTIME!!...why? because every relationship that you got yourself involved in is with a totally different person...the only one that doesnt change is YOU!..whatever happenes,YOU will be there..only the opposite side changes...
Well, since its YOU thats gonna be there all the time.YOU have to realised that most of the time, you just can't have the best of both worlds or in fact you can have the best of any world cause in a relationship, this is where you truly learned about who you really are.As if said before, all humans are not born perfect, they came with some weaknesses,impurities and what nots and TRUST ME..you can never find one whom is definitely PERFECT in all areas..maybe in some areas but not ALL areas,and this is my own opinion okay,dont go debating me on this cause i don't really care actually..and its my own opinion. When you get attracted to someone, you already knew that there are some traits in her or him that got you somewhere.Either her looks, her smile,her hair, the way she talk or maybe even her dimples on both sides of her cheeks when she smiles...those are the first thing that attracted her to you,right?
Then you start to get to know her(..this happens only if she is also welcoming the idea of being with you LAH!) and you fall in love.Some took a very long time,even years to declare their love towards anyone and to some all it takes is a first date...;). This is the tricky part, you starts to blend into each others life and this is where most of the time, problems arises.Incompatibilities, heartache,not happy, not satisfied and what not.This is where reality of a relationship seeps in. The common problem most of us fail to see is that both parties tried to be what the other half wanted him or her to be and totally forgotten to be himself or herself.All in the name of LOVE..as they call it!
Well peeps, i dont know bout you guys but being in love or in a relationship is the best thing anyone could ever wished for.Don't talk about marriage or what not,in general BUT we must learn to be ourselves and learn to accept the weaknesses or the 'kekurangan' in your partner cause as vain as you can be, you are not short on your own impurities or weaknesses yourself. Be compassionate with each other and be willing to accept criticism no matter how hurtful the words are BUT not to the extent where your self respect or dignity is at stake.Don't ever expect the one you loved to be you OR what you want them to be.
Accept them as who they are and try to blend in or worse case scenaro, improvise!Compromise a bit and always look at yourself first before you try to look at the fault of others.One other thing,if you start looking for flaws, you will definitely find some.So,why bother looking when you already knew that all of us have flaws.Focus on the good things and enhance the good things you see.If only its as simple as Photoshopping it but its life..and life isnt fair and it definitely isnt easy.Its always up to how you look at it and what you see in it.Looking and seeing is not the same,Listening and hearing is also not the same thing.Go figure!..:)
BUT in reality, you can't feed your loved ones on your 'I love you's'..be realistic ok!You need dough,money,harta and what not.If you have a lot, the better or even a bit,but you surely need it.
So, life doesnt actually begins at 40.It has already begun the day you realised who you are!!
Well peeps, once again ,just my two cents...could be the weather that inspired OR provoked me and i started to write all these..hehehe..anyhow, happy reading and if you like it..thank you and leave a comment and if you don't...like they always say it nowadays..ada aku kesah?...but you STILL can leave a comment....heheheh...last but not least..Never LOSE hope in anything...YOU are special no matter what they say about YOU..always remember that and noone can take that away from YOU..ever.!!...bye for now...
sayang always ...lordmusan..;)
Sometimes, without us realizing, the things or the experience that we had during our schooldays pretty much defines the preference or the things we do when you are a so called adult.Adult meaning after college,working life, responsibilities,commitments and what not. We still wanted to have a relationship or someone whom is good looking, caring,sweet and a person that truly cares bout who we are.Just the same thing as when we are in school with those 'puppy love'. Even when you are already an adult you still longed for the same things, don't we not?Its just a difference in the age or the phase that we went or that we are going through.
i am not an expert in realtionships or waht nots but at this age and after so many relationships and involvements either bad or good,i guess pretty much i know what relationship is all about.Or do i?
Being in love or being involved is sometimes being defined as two separate things as to what i see. Being in love is when you don't care bout anything else and the only thing that matters the most is the one you loved, spending all your time with her or him and everything else is just pure nonsense, even sometimes families are not in the picture when you are in love with a lovable person.I said lovable coz not every human being are lovable but everybody deserves to be loved. When you are in L O V E...everything else just doesnt matter....its only YOU and HER or HIM...!
And then comes I N V O L V E M E N T...yup!..it is another term for being in love and in a relationship but this time it involves everything and the best thing is or perhaps the scariest of all is this is REALITY...you are in love or with a beautiful person, yes you are but these phase came right after the fantsy of being involved slowly phases out..and reality seeps in.A lot of us wont get past this phase,either they are still living in their fantasies and hope that the fantasies will forever go on or they just can't find any other reason to carry on or just that reality is sometimes too ugly to face, no pun intended!...
Well peeps,a relationship, whether you like it or not combines both.Love as well as involvement.There's no such thing as just being in love but not involved and theres just no such thing as being involved but theres no love..unless some other reasons are prominent LAH! i dont know bout you but it takes a lot to make a relationship works.You need good looks (even if they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder), charm,flair,honesty,sincerity,loyalty and of course willing hearts that are not forced to be there.
Always when you thought that you already knew what you really wanted, came another another reason to show you that you are sometimes totally wrong in whatever believes you had about love all this while.It happens you know..no matter how experience or well exposed you are to what they called relationship. Its always a totally new thing or experience..EVERYTIME!!...why? because every relationship that you got yourself involved in is with a totally different person...the only one that doesnt change is YOU!..whatever happenes,YOU will be there..only the opposite side changes...
Well, since its YOU thats gonna be there all the time.YOU have to realised that most of the time, you just can't have the best of both worlds or in fact you can have the best of any world cause in a relationship, this is where you truly learned about who you really are.As if said before, all humans are not born perfect, they came with some weaknesses,impurities and what nots and TRUST ME..you can never find one whom is definitely PERFECT in all areas..maybe in some areas but not ALL areas,and this is my own opinion okay,dont go debating me on this cause i don't really care actually..and its my own opinion. When you get attracted to someone, you already knew that there are some traits in her or him that got you somewhere.Either her looks, her smile,her hair, the way she talk or maybe even her dimples on both sides of her cheeks when she smiles...those are the first thing that attracted her to you,right?
Then you start to get to know her(..this happens only if she is also welcoming the idea of being with you LAH!) and you fall in love.Some took a very long time,even years to declare their love towards anyone and to some all it takes is a first date...;). This is the tricky part, you starts to blend into each others life and this is where most of the time, problems arises.Incompatibilities, heartache,not happy, not satisfied and what not.This is where reality of a relationship seeps in. The common problem most of us fail to see is that both parties tried to be what the other half wanted him or her to be and totally forgotten to be himself or herself.All in the name of LOVE..as they call it!
Well peeps, i dont know bout you guys but being in love or in a relationship is the best thing anyone could ever wished for.Don't talk about marriage or what not,in general BUT we must learn to be ourselves and learn to accept the weaknesses or the 'kekurangan' in your partner cause as vain as you can be, you are not short on your own impurities or weaknesses yourself. Be compassionate with each other and be willing to accept criticism no matter how hurtful the words are BUT not to the extent where your self respect or dignity is at stake.Don't ever expect the one you loved to be you OR what you want them to be.
Accept them as who they are and try to blend in or worse case scenaro, improvise!Compromise a bit and always look at yourself first before you try to look at the fault of others.One other thing,if you start looking for flaws, you will definitely find some.So,why bother looking when you already knew that all of us have flaws.Focus on the good things and enhance the good things you see.If only its as simple as Photoshopping it but its life..and life isnt fair and it definitely isnt easy.Its always up to how you look at it and what you see in it.Looking and seeing is not the same,Listening and hearing is also not the same thing.Go figure!..:)
BUT in reality, you can't feed your loved ones on your 'I love you's'..be realistic ok!You need dough,money,harta and what not.If you have a lot, the better or even a bit,but you surely need it.
So, life doesnt actually begins at 40.It has already begun the day you realised who you are!!
Well peeps, once again ,just my two cents...could be the weather that inspired OR provoked me and i started to write all these..hehehe..anyhow, happy reading and if you like it..thank you and leave a comment and if you don't...like they always say it nowadays..ada aku kesah?...but you STILL can leave a comment....heheheh...last but not least..Never LOSE hope in anything...YOU are special no matter what they say about YOU..always remember that and noone can take that away from YOU..ever.!!...bye for now...
sayang always ...lordmusan..;)
Saturday, April 10, 2010
...things happened when it was unexpected...
..well it's been quite a while now..been tru depression, frustration, hatred, pain and uncertainty...i am now certain of what i want..certain of the things i want to do..the things that i want..and certain of the person i want to be with for the rest of my life....
just when you thought that all hope is gone...certain things happened that shed a new light to your life..when you thought that you have lost the ability to love..it happened!..ironic but it does...just when you were about to give up on that segment...things happened..unexpected things!...
i realized that all this while i have been hiding behind a name,,,a name that most of my FB friends knew me with..LordMusan...i realized that when i tot the name was supposed to be cool..supposed to be strong..supposed to be confident and can face anything..it was just not me..coz i am Roslan m Shapri..the person who is real..the one who hid behind LordMusan...well..i guess this is it..no more hiding and starts living as myself again n able to withstand anything...to face anything that will come and i know now...i AM Roslan M Shapri..the real deal...
...all started from just a simple hello...and now everything changed..my perception towards life..towards being with another..towards being in love again...but will this work..we will always have our doubts but even this doesn't work..i am happy and never will regret all that has happened and that will happened ..i don't know but i there's a strong feeling that this will be the ultimate or in other words..the things that i have been looking for all my life...
i thank God for giving me this..i thank God for testing me throughout the years and i realized it made me a better man...i have no regrets anymore..i accepted that everything that happened for a reason and no matter how bitter or how bad it could be..it will always be for the best..and today i realized..and i saw why all these things happened to me ...
well..to cut things short..my life could not have been better now..all that i worked for is showing results..my angles still knows me as their papa...and i know things are going to change for the better...this could be my turning point..a point where i will no longer rely on anyone..no longer be treated like a doormat..no more pain and hatred and i finally got over everything....it has not been easy but i finally got over it...and life has never been better..alhamdulillah...
well..work is just fine..being alone for now is just fine..and knowing that there is someone there that is always willing to be there when you need someone...hmmm..no amount of money could give you that...
i know that and i admit..bad things happened for a reason..hurts like hell but once you get to a stage where you can accept and come to terms with whats happening...new opportunity opens up for you..you meet new people...new faces that you can't seems to notice before this..and the most of all..you actually know what you are capable of and what you have been missing all this while....
well..now all i have to do is full speed forward...in life, in the things that involves my love for my little angels..my care and love for the one who changed my perception on everything..my perception on life and my perception on the thing call love...
at this age..you just don't have time to be like who you were 20 years ago..in another year i will be 40 and they say life begins at forty..but i don't intend to only start life at that age cause what i taught before i had a life but i was wrong..i admit..had my wonderful moments i can deny..but to me now..life begins right now at this very moment..and i don't have to wait till i m forty to start my life...
i am grateful for everything Allah has given me...and i m grateful to Him for making me see what life is all about..what human really is and what your heart can do for you...
well..once again..I AM Roslan M Shapri..i AM Happy....and LordMusan will be away..but he will be just fine...
life is sweet when your heart is filled with love..hope..wishes and the experiences from your past..teaches you that not every single things that happened to you..bad things i mean..is the end of your life..the end of the world...sometimes when you least expected...b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l things happened....b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l people shows up in your life..unexpectedly...
well..the past will be the past..it can hurt..it can destroy you but I chose not to..and to me ...its Now and moving forward to the future..what's left of it i guess....but cherish and enjoy the moments given to you now..and you will not regret when you are in the future...
will talk to you guys soon ..hopefully...anyhow..
salam and greetings from Roslan M Shapri....
just when you thought that all hope is gone...certain things happened that shed a new light to your life..when you thought that you have lost the ability to love..it happened!..ironic but it does...just when you were about to give up on that segment...things happened..unexpected things!...
i realized that all this while i have been hiding behind a name,,,a name that most of my FB friends knew me with..LordMusan...i realized that when i tot the name was supposed to be cool..supposed to be strong..supposed to be confident and can face anything..it was just not me..coz i am Roslan m Shapri..the person who is real..the one who hid behind LordMusan...well..i guess this is it..no more hiding and starts living as myself again n able to withstand anything...to face anything that will come and i know now...i AM Roslan M Shapri..the real deal...
...all started from just a simple hello...and now everything changed..my perception towards life..towards being with another..towards being in love again...but will this work..we will always have our doubts but even this doesn't work..i am happy and never will regret all that has happened and that will happened ..i don't know but i there's a strong feeling that this will be the ultimate or in other words..the things that i have been looking for all my life...
i thank God for giving me this..i thank God for testing me throughout the years and i realized it made me a better man...i have no regrets anymore..i accepted that everything that happened for a reason and no matter how bitter or how bad it could be..it will always be for the best..and today i realized..and i saw why all these things happened to me ...
well..to cut things short..my life could not have been better now..all that i worked for is showing results..my angles still knows me as their papa...and i know things are going to change for the better...this could be my turning point..a point where i will no longer rely on anyone..no longer be treated like a doormat..no more pain and hatred and i finally got over everything....it has not been easy but i finally got over it...and life has never been better..alhamdulillah...
well..work is just fine..being alone for now is just fine..and knowing that there is someone there that is always willing to be there when you need someone...hmmm..no amount of money could give you that...
i know that and i admit..bad things happened for a reason..hurts like hell but once you get to a stage where you can accept and come to terms with whats happening...new opportunity opens up for you..you meet new people...new faces that you can't seems to notice before this..and the most of all..you actually know what you are capable of and what you have been missing all this while....
well..now all i have to do is full speed forward...in life, in the things that involves my love for my little angels..my care and love for the one who changed my perception on everything..my perception on life and my perception on the thing call love...
at this age..you just don't have time to be like who you were 20 years ago..in another year i will be 40 and they say life begins at forty..but i don't intend to only start life at that age cause what i taught before i had a life but i was wrong..i admit..had my wonderful moments i can deny..but to me now..life begins right now at this very moment..and i don't have to wait till i m forty to start my life...
i am grateful for everything Allah has given me...and i m grateful to Him for making me see what life is all about..what human really is and what your heart can do for you...
well..once again..I AM Roslan M Shapri..i AM Happy....and LordMusan will be away..but he will be just fine...
life is sweet when your heart is filled with love..hope..wishes and the experiences from your past..teaches you that not every single things that happened to you..bad things i mean..is the end of your life..the end of the world...sometimes when you least expected...b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l things happened....b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l people shows up in your life..unexpectedly...
well..the past will be the past..it can hurt..it can destroy you but I chose not to..and to me ...its Now and moving forward to the future..what's left of it i guess....but cherish and enjoy the moments given to you now..and you will not regret when you are in the future...
will talk to you guys soon ..hopefully...anyhow..
salam and greetings from Roslan M Shapri....
I am Roslan M Shapri...n I am Happy Now!!
..been quite a while since i last wrote here..been busy gaining back my self esteem, my self respect and my confidence..been a tough year but has been worth my while...so many things happened and so many things i learned...never ever take things for granted and never underestimate what has been intended for you..don't try to fight fate.....anyhow...LordMusan is finally given the vacation he needs...he will be missed but he will be ok...i AM Roslan M Shapri...and i am happy now...:)
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